Louise's story

I am a busy mum of three teenagers and live with my husband, our three children and our lovely dog Figgy. I have always been a confident and adventurous person, embracing any given opportunity. Like most people, I was juggling work and home life.

In May 2018 I had a Subarachnoid Hemorrhage (SAH). I was visiting my husband in hospital, as he was very poorly with sepsis and in intensive care. He had been in there since the 20th of May. On the 23rd of May, I woke up in a different London hospital, as unbeknown to me, I had experienced a seizure and had a subarachnoid Hemorrhage (SAH) due to a dissected vertebral artery and ruptured aneurysm. I had emergency surgery, had an external ventricular drain (EVD) inserted and underwent interventional neuroradiology surgery, where I now have three stents in my artery. My husband survived the sepsis and then started to visit me.
I was discharged from hospital after spending three weeks in intensive care, high dependency and then a ward. I was finally reunited with my three children whom I had not seen or spoken to for that duration; and as you can imagine, this was very emotional.

A month later, I was called for a follow-up scan which revealed that the aneurysm had not been closed off completely and was filling again. I then went in for more surgery.
Whilst the NHS were amazing and saved my life, for which I will be eternally grateful, I was an emotional mess. I was 44 at the time and my children were 8, 10 and 12. I found it extremely hard to deal with the impact of what had happened and felt that nobody could really relate to or understand the psychological and emotional footprint that the whole experience had on me. I was extremely fortunate that I was left with no lasting deficits and that I also had the unwavering support of my amazing parents, husband, children and a whole community of friends, however at this point I felt very scared and vulnerable.
I was also struggling to feel like the Mummy that I was “before”; as I felt as though I had failed my children and let them down, although through no fault of my own. Being a parent does that to you.

This is where the Brain & Spine Foundation came in. The Facebook support group was my lifeline. It was like a breath of fresh air to know that I wasn’t alone in how I felt, they were normal feelings and reactions given the circumstances and it was like a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders once I could express how I felt without judgment and with total genuine understanding. No two stories are the same, but there were some very similar ones. There were people that were a step ahead of me in their recovery and gave such sound advice. I even made a lovely friend that doesn’t live too far from me. We meet up for a dog walk every so often. I am not so reliant on the support group as much as I was in the first two years, but I do find myself dipping in and out, especially if I have a scan due and I am experiencing a wave of anxiety. I am not sure how much longer my recovery would have taken without the advice, knowledge, and comfort of all the lovely people in the group. Through their support, I learnt how to be more resilient, determined and to accept that this is just a part of my life story.